


butterfly

by commodorecliche



Category: Here U Are (Webcomic)
Genre: Confessions, Cute, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Going to the movies, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Neck Kissing, Nervousness, Power Outage, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, confessions in the middle of making out lol, hair petting, idk what else to tag this, little bit of spice in here too, not much though, set after chapters 40 and 41, that's not a real tag, unintentional date nights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 00:04:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15158102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commodorecliche/pseuds/commodorecliche
Summary: Even after Yu Yang and Li Huan have returned from the movie, the power still isn't back on at the university. Neither of them is particularly excited about spending the rest of the night alone in the dark, so they decide to make an evening of it, and spend the night hanging out in Yu Yang's room, watching movies until his tablet's battery dies. But in the darkness, in the soft glow from the screen, something more than a casual night together begins to blossom.





	butterfly

**Author's Note:**

> hey what's up this is like 5k words of Yu Yang and Li Huan accidentally going on a date and then making out and confessing some feelings. This was absolutely self-indulgent. Just enjoy it.

Li Huan has never been much for ‘hanging out’. He isn’t particularly opposed to the idea, but spending time with other people has never been his go-to idea of fun. His mother always used to tell him: _Li Huan, my darling, you’ll always be a butterfly... just maybe not a social one_. And for the most part, it’s served him just fine. His own company had always been enough.

But sometimes… things change. Sometimes a certain someone comes along. They brush against your wings, and make you wonder if perhaps being social wouldn’t be that bad so long as it was with them.

**::**

“That was _so_ much fun!” Yu Yang gushes as they leave the theater.

Li Huan smiles but says nothing. He opts instead to watch with fondness as Yu Yang bounds a step ahead of him. He’s as lively as ever, even in the late evening hours, and Li Huan wonders if that energy would radiate into him were he to take Yu Yang’s hand.

He doesn’t test the theory. But he’d like to.

Li Huan shakes his head, ridding himself of the thought. Yu Yang whips around after a couple of paces, walking backwards so that he can face Li Huan as he continues to speak.

“Thanks for taking me. That was _way_ better than moping around in the dark alone.”

The corner of Li Huan’s mouth quirks up, but even the minuteness of the gesture isn’t lost of Yu Yang.

“Ooooh,” Yu Yang starts. He slows his pace and turns so he can walk beside Li Huan, “was that a smile I saw? Did someone _else_ have fun tonight?”

Li Huan scoffs out a chuckle and glances at his feet, but the grin doesn’t leave his lips.

“Yes, it was… quite fun.”

If he’s honest, Li Huan doesn’t even _remember_ the movie. He’d hardly paid attention to it. He was far too focused on his companion, on Yu Yang’s vivacious presence at his side. Too focused on all the soft giggles he’d release whenever an action scene got too silly. Too focused on his melodramatic gasps whenever a plot twisted happened that he was already expecting. Far too focused on the sheen of his eyes in the movie’s glow, the smile on his face, the curve of his jaw, the line of his neck and the way the shadows played against it. The casual way Yu Yang would reach for popcorn and not even care when his warm fingertips would brush against Li Huan’s.

He had fun, but not because of the movie. And for a moment, he wonders if Yu Yang enjoyed his presence just as much.

He wonders. But he doesn’t ask.

“I had fun,” Li Huan tells Yu Yang again.

Yu Yang beams at him and falls into step at Li Huan’s side.

“I’m glad.”

Li Huan spares a quick glance to his left and catches Yu Yang’s gaze. He’s so open and carefree; his expression so soft and fond that it almost makes Li Huan wonder if he looks at everyone like this. Or is this gentleness just for him?

_I’m like that with everyone! Who do you think you are?_

Li Huan averts his eyes, the smile fading from his lips.

They don’t speak for much of the walk back, but Yu Yang makes sure to bump their shoulders together with almost every step they take.

By the time they make it back to the university, it’s after midnight. Whatever sliver of hope they’d had that the power would be restored while they were away is dashed as soon as they see the campus. The grounds are shrouded in shadow and silhouette, the entire campus just as dark now as it was a few hours before. Yu Yang heaves an exasperated sigh, dragging his feet as they walk to the dorms.

“Well, so much for finishing my game tonight…”

“Maybe it’ll be fixed tomorrow.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

They make it to the dorms, and there are only a few more steps they can take together, until they'll have to part ways and head back to their respective rooms. And whether Li Huan wants to admit it or not, he’s not exactly ready for the night to be over.

“Well,” Yu Yang says with a shrug, “I guess this is my stop. Wanna do lunch tomorrow or something?”

Li Huan nods without hesitation.

“Yes.”

Yang beams at him again with his own nod of agreement. God almighty, what Li Huan wouldn’t do for that smile… What wouldn’t he do just to have that radiant grin directed at him just one more time?

“Okay, I’ll see you around noon.”

And with that, Yu Yang turns on his heels and heads towards his building. He’s only a few steps away when Li Huan shakes his head and trots after him. He reaches one hand out and clasps Yu Yang’s elbow, slowing him to a stop.

“Hey, uh, it’s pretty dark,” Li Huan starts, not letting go of Yu Yang’s arm, “Let me walk you to your room?”

Yu Yang casts a brief glance at Li Huan’s hand but doesn’t shake him off. The corner of his mouth quirks up.

The likelihood that anything of import would happen on his one minute walk to his room, within the secure gates of the university, is slim to none. But Yu Yang still readily agrees to Li Huan's company.

“Yeah, okay. Thank you, Prince Valiant.”

**::**

The walk is short - they both knew it would be - and before Li Huan knows it, they’re standing outside the door to Yu Yang’s room. Yu Yang unlocks and opens the door but he doesn’t go inside. The room is dark beyond the threshold and the emptiness of it emanates into the hallway. Yu Yang turns around and stands in the doorway, staring up at Li Huan.

Li Huan knows he has to leave.

But he doesn’t want to.

“Well, this is me…” Yu Yang mumbles. Li Huan can’t tell if he’s imagining the hesitancy in Yang’s tone or not. He’s probably imagining it.

“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow?”  
  
“Mhm.”

“Okay.” Li Huan pauses, unsure of what to say, but not ready to make himself leave. He huffs a low sigh. “Goodnight, then.”

“Goodnight.”

And with that, he turns on his heel and leaves. His feet drag across the carpeted floor of the hallway, shuffling towards his own building with reticence. But he doesn’t make it more than a few feet away before Yu Yang’s voice is calling out to him, stopping him before he’s too far down the hall.

“Hey! Li Huan?”

He cranes his head and looks back over his shoulder, eyes settling on Yu Yang’s figure. Yu Yang looks almost nervous. He’s leaning against the doorframe of his room, his arms crossed, an uncomfortable and awkward tension settled into the line of his shoulders. Yu Yang darts his gaze away from Li Huan’s. He bites his lip, letting his canine dig into the meat of his lower lip before he clears his throat and speaks again.  

“Hey uh, I’m… I’m not really tired. And the power’s still off so…”

Yu Yang’s voice trails off as Li Huan turns around to face him fully. Li Huan takes a few steps forward to close the distance between them.

“You scared of the dark?”

“Pfft, no,” Yang scoffs with an uncomfortable shrug, “I dunno, just might be a little boring sitting here, all alone in the dark. That’s all.”

“So…?” Li Huan starts. It’s a bit of a coy reply; he has an inkling of what Yu Yang is trying to ask him. But Li Huan can’t give in to what he _thinks_ until he actually hears Yang speak the words.

“So do you maybe… wanna hang out a little more?”

Of course he wants to hang out more. He’s never cared for other people’s company, but he would happily stay all night if Yu Yang would let him.

“My phone’s battery is almost full. So is my tablet's,” Yu Yang continues, “We could maybe watch another movie? Or some videos? Or play some games? I dunno.”

Li Huan steps closer, moving so he’s once again standing in front of Yu Yang’s doorway. He stares down at Yu Yang and nods, not bothering to stop the way the corner of his mouth ticks upward. That small smirk alone seems to light Yu Yang up - he bares a full and radiant grin back at Li Huan and steps aside so Li Huan can come into his room.

Li Huan wishes he could get a look around, to take in a little piece of Yu Yang, to see how he lives. Is he messy? Cluttered? Neat and fastidious? Does he keep picture of his friends up or just his family? Or no pictures at all? Li Huan just wants to see, he wants a glimpse into Yu Yang's life that he isn't normally afforded. But he can't; the room is dark enough that he can really only make out vague shapes in the black. The only light they have is the moonlight and a few stray lights from the city just outside the campus.

Yu Yang follows him inside and shuts the door. Out of habit, he flicks the light switch, and then laughs.

“Oh. Right. Whoops.”

Even Li Huan can’t help but let out a low laugh.

Yu Yang doesn’t miss a beat.

“Was that a chuckle I heard? A little titter? A chortle?”

Li Huan shakes his head, even though he’s sure Yu Yang can’t see him in the darkness.

“Nah, you’re imagining things,” he jests.

“Sure, sure. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were having fun tonight.”

Slowly but surely, their eyes begin to adjust to the darkness. No matter how miniscule the light from outside the windows is, every little bit helps. Yu Yang’s silhouette is starting to take shape in the darkness - as is the furniture. Yu Yang makes some vague upward gesture - at least, Li Huan _thinks_ it’s an upward gesture. Hard to tell.

“My bunk is the top one. Ladder’s here, you go on up. I gotta…find my tablet.”

Yu Yang begins rustling around the desk beneath his bunk and Li Huan takes that as his cue. He steps forward, trying to be careful as navigates the foreign room in the darkness. But even with his caution, he still manages to fail spectacularly. Within two steps, he trips on a pair of shoes near the base of Yu Yang's bunk. He stumbles and almost loses his balance, but manages to catch himself on Yu Yang's desk... and on Yu Yang. 

Yu Yang grunts as Li Huan careens into him, but he laughs it off in the next instant. His hands come to rest on Li Huan’s chest, and he pushes him up a bit to give him some support and balance. Li Huan knows that this contact is merely a reaction, a response to him nearly toppling completely over Yu Yang, but the warmth of Yu Yang's hands on his chest radiates straight throughout Li Huan’s body.

“Easy there,” Yu Yang lulls. His voice is far too low when he speaks, and far too sultry. The sound of it wriggles its way into Li Huan’s sternum, through his ribcage, down his spine, and into his gut, then zips back up into his face. Thank god the power’s out and Yu Yang can’t actually see the sudden heated blush that has taken over his cheeks.

Li Huan stands upright with a mumbled apology, careful not to let his hands linger for too long on his companion’s arms as he rights himself.

Yu Yang gives his chest a brief and affectionate pat and turns back to his desk. Without a word, Li Huan hauls himself up the ladder and settles onto Yu Yang’s bed. He crosses his legs beneath him and leans his back against the wall. The entire bunk smells distinctly of Yu Yang. It’s a mixture of his shampoo, his cologne, and what Li Huan imagines his skin smells like.

He feels instantly at home.

“Aha!” Yu Yang exclaims from under him.

He clamors up the ladders and flops down on the bed next to Li Huan, back pressed against the wall as well. He tucks his legs up underneath himself, seeming to have no reservations about the way their knees and shoulders press together.

“What are you in the mood for?” Yu Yang asks him as he powers up the tablet, setting it up on its stand in front of them.

Li Huan shrugs and tries to ignore the warm brush of their shoulders as he does.

“Um, anything. You pick.”

“I think I’m feeling scary.”

“Scary it is, then.”

**::**

Next thing Li Huan knows, Yu Yang has iQIYI up and some random scary movie Li Huan has never heard of is playing. He tries to pay attention - he really does - just like he tried to pay attention to the film in the movie theater. But Yu Yang’s presence at his side is far too distracting.

This time, there’s no arm rest between them to act as a barrier, so safety net to maintain distance. Here it’s just their bodies: touching each other, but not completely flush together. Even this minuscule contact is almost overwhelming to Li Huan.

Maybe he’s more touch-starved than he realized.

They sit still for about 20 minutes. But after that, Yu Yang begins to shift, searching for a more comfortable position. Eventually, he opts to uncross his legs and instead slant them to the side and tuck them underneath himself. The new position leaves him leaning even more fully against Li Huan’s side than he had been just a moment before. He’s all but tucked up against Li Huan now, his head resting on his shoulder, and the twisting nervousness in Li Huan’s gut is becoming harder and harder to ignore.

“Is this alright?” Yu Yang whispers, lifting his head to dare a glance at Li Huan.

Li Huan turns his attention away from the tablet, and meets Yu Yang’s gaze. Yu Yang’s face is illuminated by the soft light of the screen, every feature highlighted by the blue-white glow.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s good, er, fine. It’s fine.”

Yu Yang nods, but doesn’t look away. And neither does Li Huan.

“You uh, you don’t have to be so… reserved, you know? With me, I mean.”

As if to punctuate what he means, Yu Yang shoots a quick glance down at Li Huan’s right arm. It's wedged between the their bodies but it's still kept well within Li Huan’s space. Yu Yang seems to have crossed into that space, though, but Li Huan can't say that he minds. Li Huan bites his lip but doesn’t tear his eyes away from Yu Yang’s face.

Without a word, he wriggles his arm free from between them and wraps it around Yu Yang’s shoulders.

“Good?” he asks. His throat has become so dry all at once; it’s almost difficult to swallow.

Yu Yang shakes his head ‘yes’.

“Yeah. Good.”

Yu Yang scoots a fraction of an inch closer and dares to lay a hesitant hand atop Li Huan’s denim clad thigh.

Li Huan jolts at the contact, and Yu Yang immediately retracts his hand. Without thinking, Li Huan shakes his head and reaches out for him again. He grabs his hand and sets it back on his leg.

God, what are they _doing_?

Li Huan knows he should look elsewhere, should turn his attention back to the movie, but he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from Yu Yang's face. The angle of his jaw is so defined and yet so delicate. His skin is so fair, it looks as though it would be like silk to touch. His lips… their curvy but defined edges, their plumpness… That tight coil in Li Huan's stomach all but _begs_ him to touch them, to lean in and kiss them. To do it right this moment.

He can’t.

He shouldn’t.

But he wants to.

And maybe he’s just misreading things, but it _almost_ looks like Yu Yang might want it too.

By now, the movie has become an afterthought, neither of them focused on it anymore. It’s little more than background noise and light at this point, and Li Huan is very much okay with that. He hadn’t been paying attention to it anyway, and if he’s honest, he could let his eyes take in Yu Yang’s features all night, if Yu Yang would let him.

The hand on Li Huan’s thigh twitches, lithe fingers tittering across the denim. They move like they're itching to touch him more completely, to grab him more tightly, but they don’t. They maintain their gentle, hesitant touch, but they dance a little more openly across his quad, flitting about like they can’t decide where to go.

Li Huan’s stomach twists again. There’s so much warmth burning inside of him, mixed with nervousness and hesitancy, that he almost feels ill from it. But he loves the feeling. He loves this rush of excitement and nervousness and desire. He hasn't felt this in god knows how long.

Yu Yang maintains his focus on Li Huan’s face - just as Li Huan has done to him. They aren’t looking into each others’ eyes, more just taking each other in. Learning each feature, each curve, each angle, even in the low light from the tablet.

“Wow, you are…” Yu Yang pauses and tilts his head, like he’s considering his words with care, “ _very_ handsome.”

“So are you,” Li Huan whispers back. It takes focused effort, and a burst of courage, but he allows his free hand to cradle the elegant curve of Yu Yang’s jaw.

He half expects Yu Yang to pull away. To come to his senses and realize this isn’t what he wanted. That he’d realize Li Huan was a poor substitute for his other crush - Lin something or other.

But Yu Yang _doesn’t_ pull away. In fact, his eyes flutter closed and he leans into Li Huan's touch, nuzzling his cheek into Li Huan’s palm as he does.

He stays there for a moment, lingering in the warmth of Li Huan’s hand - so large, so firm, so comforting in its tenderness - before he opens his eyes again. This time, he meets Li Huan’s eyes directly and gives his thigh a reassuring squeeze.

“I think I might want to kiss you,” Yu Yang mumbles in the darkness. His gaze is hazy and unfocused: contented, calm, and  _certain_  as he speaks. But that resolution only lasts for a moment.

As if suddenly realizing what he just said, focus snaps back into Yu Yang’s eyes and he retracts his hand from Li Huan’s thigh. His leg feels cold without the warmth of his touch - it's been gone for a second and Li Huan already aches to feel its warmth again.

“G-god,” Yu Yang stutters, shaking his head and moving to push up so he isn’t leaning so heavily on Li Huan. Li Huan’s hand drops from his face as he does. “I am… _so_ sorry, I don’t… I don’t know what came over me. I know you’re not-”

Li Huan doesn’t let him finish. In one gentle swoop, he grabs Yu Yang by the chin and tilts his head up, angling him just right so he can press their lips together.

Yu Yang whimpers at the contact. His eyes are wide for a split second, but in the next moment, he relaxes into the kiss, his eyelids slipping closed. Li Huan’s eyes slip shut as well, and he allows himself to met into this kiss, to savor the lips he's been aching to touch for months now. 

The kiss is brief - it's almost an inquiry, an exploration of what their mouths might feel like pressed together. As it turns out, their mouths feel very, _very_ good pressed together. At least, that's what Li Huan thinks. 

They part with a gentle peck; the tenderness of the sound warms Li Huan to his core.

He doesn’t release Yu Yang’s chin even once they’ve broken their kiss. Instead, he keeps his hold on him and keeps their faces close together, watching as Yu Yang’s eyes flutter back open.

“I am what I am,” Li Huan whispers once Yu Yang is looking at him again. His lips brush against Yu Yang’s with every word he speaks.

Yu Yang whimpers again.  

“And if _you_ want this, then I want this,” Li Huan continues.

Yu Yang doesn’t reply, but he licks his lips and nods. The motion is slow and steady. It’s determined, but a little bit hazy, like he’s clouded by whatever desire and want and affection he’s feeling. Li Huan can’t blame him - he’s right there with him, awash is mess of yearning and heat and hope.

This time, it’s Yu Yang who initiates the kiss. He arches up and claims Li Huan’s mouth in a single motion. It’s deeper this time - still closed mouthed, but more firm, more focused and filled with intention.

It’s a kiss for _him_ , just for Li Huan, and not for anyone else.

And he groans - _god_ does he groan. Li Huan couldn’t have held it back if he’d wanted to. He angles his head just so and relaxes his mouth. He doesn’t open it, but it’s lax enough that his lips would part at the slightest hint that Yu Yang wished to deepen things.

The hand on his thigh squeezes him tightly; Yu Yang’s fingers press deep into the hardened muscle. It’s a little urgent, a little needy… a little exploratory. Yu Yang tilts his head in the opposite direction, giving Li Huan more access to his lips. His mouth slackens and his lips part, opening up for Li Huan.  
  
Li Huan wants to thrust his tongue in deep, he wants to taste every crevice of Yu Yang's mouth, he wants swallow every single murmur that resonates from Yu Yang's chest. He wants to _cling_ to him, to draw him close and angle his head more so he can kiss him with the ferocity he’s yearning for. But he doesn’t - he holds back. He eases his tongue forward - patient, tentative, seeking. A shaky, uneasy breath slips through his nose at the first touch of Yu Yang’s tongue against his own. His fingers begin to tremble against Yu Yang’s chin; it's an itch, a longing to touch more, to feel more. So he obeys the urge. He walks his fingers from Yu Yang’s chin to the curve of his jaw, then back behind his ear until his hand is cradling the back of Yu Yang’s head, his fingers threaded in the soft hair there.

“Mmm,” Yu Yang groans into his mouth as Li Huan’s fingers rub through his hair and along his scalp.

Yu Yang’s hand begins to creep its way upward across his leg. It makes its way along the length of Li Huan’s thigh, then up over his hip. When his hand reaches Li Huan's abdomen, it lingers there, massaging the hardened muscles through his shirt, and Li Huans wishes to god he would just ruck his hand up under his shirt and drag those fingers across his heated flesh. But he doesn't. Instead, his fingers move on, edging their way up further to touch his chest. Yu Yang keeps his hand flat for a moment, but after another beat, he lets his fingers curl. When Li Huan withdraws his tongue only to immediately thrust it back into Yu Yang’s mouth, Yu Yang's fingers tighten, fingernails catching in the fabric as they move.

Yu Yang balls his fist up in Li Huan’s shirt and tugs. He yanks Li Huan closer and deepens their kiss further. There is a sudden urgency in his movements, an urgency Li Huan is sure is reflected in his own motions, too. Their tongues slide across each other - wet and warm, like silk and velvet - and their breathing is growing more and more erratic. Yu Yang whimpers and kisses and angles his head. He tugs on Li Huan's shirt to draw him closer, to draw him in deeper. It's frantic and it feels like fucking  _home_. 

Li Huan doesn’t know which one of them moves first, but the next thing he knows, they’re both moving. Hand still balled up in Li Huan’s shirt, Yu Yang makes sure not to break their kiss as they rearrange themselves on the bed. Yu Yang leans back, lying flat on his back across the mattress, and Li Huan can only follow where Yu Yang is leading him. He settles himself on top of Yu Yang and without hesitation, Yu Yang parts his legs and makes a perfect space for Li Huan to slot his hips. At first Li Huan balances himself on his hands, planted on the mattress just above Yu Yang’s shoulders, elbows bent, body angled so he can maintain their kiss. But it isn’t close enough.

There’s barely any space between them now, but it’s _still_ not close enough. Not nearly. He wants more.

Bending his arms more, Li Huan lowers himself down fully, until he's supported only by his elbows. He situates them on either side of Yu Yang's head, cages him in, walls him off, keeps them close together. Whatever fraction of space had existed between them is gone now, erased in one fluid motion.

Li Huan lets his fingers thread once again into Yu Yang's thick, brown locks. Their chests press flush together, their hips slot against each other with care and precision, and their lips - their lips move with unspoken rhythm. Pursing, pressing, seeking, opening, closing.

_Tongues, touch, teeth, lips, mouths._

Li Huan could get drunk on this.

He already _is_ drunk on this.  

God, Yu Yang is so much smaller than him, too. Li Huan knew he was bigger than Yu Yang; pretty obvious when they stand next to each other. But he hadn't realized exactly how much bigger his entire frame is until this very moment, until he had Yu Yang pinned beneath him. Li Huan all but dwarfs him. He’s so lithe, so delicate, and yet so firm and angular. Yu Yang’s fingers - slender and nimble - slide across Li Huan's sides, migrating to his lower back. They inch their way up along Li Huan's spine, tracing every vertebra as they go. Up, then back down again until he settles his palm flat against the small of Li Huan's back and uses the leverage to urge Li Huan's hips closer.

Without thinking, Li Huan cants his hips downward, rubbing his arousal against Yu Yang. He’s hard, god he’s been hard since Yu Yang first craned up to kiss him. But every slide of their tongues, every whimper or groan that shudders out of Yu Yang sends another jolt straight into Li Huan’s groin. And when he rolls his hips down and finds that Yu Yang is just as hard as he is, his arousal only flares hotter.

Li Huan breaks the kiss with a desperate, breathy grunt. Yu Yang is about to protest but he stops short when Li Huan grabs him by the hair and turns his head to the side. He mouths along Yu Yang’s neck, kissing, taking in and tasting as much of him he can.

Yu Yang moans beneath his ministrations - it’s the sweetest sound Li Huan has ever heard - and clings onto him harder. He leaves one hand on Li Huan’s lower back, but he moves the other so it can settle on Li Huan’s nape. He grips the muscle there and Li Huan on, silently begging him to kiss his neck more deeply. To shower it in affection, to kiss his flesh, to tongue his pulse, to bite at the tendons and sinew there. What choice does Li Have but to oblige the request?

“You feel good,” Li Huan murmurs into Yu Yang’s skin, “taste so good.”

He nips and nibbles along the curve of Yu Yang’s neck, down to his collarbone; he aches to suckle the skin there until it bruises. He supports himself on one elbow and lets his other arm explore. He drags it down Yu Yang’s side, and drags it back up, catching the fabric of his shirt as he does so. It hikes up a little, and even without touching his skin, Li Huan can feel the warmth radiating from Yu Yang’s heated flesh.

“Oh, Huan…” Yu Yang whimpers as he squeezes the taut muscles at Li Huan’s nape.

“Is this okay?”

Yu Yang nods and gasps out a pointed ‘yes’. He curls his fingers and lets his fingernails scrape across the back of Li Huan’s neck.

Li Huan hisses at the sting and jerks his mouth away from Yu Yang’s throat. He moves instead to his earlobe. He toys with it for a brief moment before he sighs with a soft hum. He tries like hell to control his breathing, but no matter what he does, it comes out in unsteady, heated pants into Yu Yang’s ear.

“Yang, I like you.”

_Fuck_.

He hadn’t meant to say that. He doesn't know what he'd meant to say, but it hadn't been that. And yet somehow he can’t find it in himself to backpedal. He can’t retract what he’s admitted; the ache in his chest won’t let him deny it.

So he kisses Yu Yang’s cheek and says it again.

“I like you…”

He pushes away from Yu Yang's throat so he can look at him and take him in, even if Yu Yang hasn't replied.

He looks beautiful in the blue-white glow from the tablet's screen and in the ember-colored haze from the city lights that filter through the windows. His head is relaxed back against the mattress, his hair is messy and splayed across the sheet beneath his him. There is such softness on his face, such fondness in his eyes as he stares back into Li Huan’s gaze. He's fucking beautiful.

Yu Yang opens his mouth to speak, but before he can, the breakers switch with a loud clank and the lights flick back on.

Just like that, the moment is gone.

Whatever Yu Yang was about to say, abandoned, and Li Huan’s admission is just a shadow now. One that had lived in the darkness but was washed out by the light.

Both of them squint and blink in the sudden harsh fluorescence. Once his eyes have adjusted, Li Huan glances back down at Yu Yang. He’s still just as beautiful as he was a moment ago, even awash in artificial light.

But there is a sudden hefty weight of reality that bears down on Li Huan's shoulders. 

Guilt. Questioning. Panic.

Yu Yang rejected him once.

Whatever _this_ was, Li Huan is suddenly sure it had been nothing but a little bit of fun. Nothing serious. Nothing meaningful. Not like he wanted it to be. 

All at once, he’s nervous. All at once, he feels completely exposed.

Li Huan starts to push himself off of Yu Yang, a few mumbled, halfhearted apologies on his lips. He’s not even sure what he’s apologizing for, he just feels like he _should_. But Yu Yang doesn’t let him get far. Before he can even fully separate their chests, Yu Yang has grabbed hold of his arms, stopping his retreat immediately. Yu Yang holds him firmly, strokes his thumbs across Li Huan's biceps, and shakes his head.

“Wait,” Yu Yang whispers.

His fingers flit up along his biceps to his shoulders, then forward to Li Huan's collarbone. They linger there for a moment, the pads of his fingertips fluttering across the sensitive skin, caressing where skin lays across bone and muscle. Li Huan’s stomach burns again.  

Yu Yang shakes his head 'no' one more time.

“You don’t have to go.”

Li Huan furrows his brow, but he doesn’t move. Yu Yang gives him an encouraging nod and moves his hands back to Li Huan’s shoulders. With a gentle tug, he urges Li Huan to ease back down, to slip back into his space, to rest flush against him again.

He must look unsure, even as he follows Yu Yang’s guiding motions, because Yu Yang gives him a small, but reassuring smile, and runs his delicate fingertips across Li Huan’s face. They move in soothing lines across his cheek, his brow, the curve of his lips. He lets his hand slide back around Li Huan's head and his fingers play in the short stubble on his nape. With gentle pressure on the back of Li Huan’s neck, Yu Yang guides him down to meet his mouth in a soft, chaste kiss.

“I think I like you too,” Yu Yang whispers against his lips.

Li Huan pulls back a fraction of an inch so he can meet Yu Yang’s eyes. He’s not sure what he'd expected to see in them, but he is met with nothing but contented sincerity. Something akin to hope flares up in his chest. 

“You don’t have to go,” he tells Li Huan again.

The corner of Li Huan’s mouth quirks upwards and he nods.

“Kay."

Li Huan doesn't let himself think; he leans back down to claim another kiss, smiling against Yu Yang's mouth as he does. 

**::**

Li Huan has never been a people person. Never been much of a social butterfly. But sometimes things change. 

Sometimes you find a man with a gorgeous smile and a heart to die for, and when he brushes your wings you realize that being social would be okay with _him_. 

**Author's Note:**

> i said i was going to fill this tag up, and by god i'm going to do it. i already have a third fic in the works (with a bit of canon divergence and a lot of spice), so be on the lookout for that in the future. thank you guys so much for reading! i really live for your responses, so if you liked this, maybe leave me a comment or a kudo? 
> 
> you can also find me on [tumblr](https://commodorecliche.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/commodorecliche).
> 
> [rebloggable version here](http://commodorecliche.tumblr.com/post/175525710553/butterfly-commodorecliche-here-u-are)


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